Thursday, February 18, 2010

Cinema

So this is starting to become a very bad habit. I get all worked up about a particular topic and write the shit out of it and after in done writing, I take a long drag from my cigarette and realized what a waste of time that was. I'm practically deflated, my anger lost upon the sea of near inane and futile rantings. I mean yeah, it says ju-rants, but sometimes you just get tired of ranting. No, I don't want to change the name from ju-rants to ju-contemplates and analyzes current socio-political events. The cliff notes of it is, I basically gave a big fuck you to people who love to talk in the cinema. We've all been there, the fucking commentators, the in cinema critic, the fucking guy who answers the phone and KEEPS talking, the high pitch laughter guy, etc. etc. general douchebag behavior. But how does ranting about it help if at all? The person's I'm referring to will suddenly stumble onto this blog and say, "OMG. That was me. I can't believe I was such an asshole. I shan't be doing it again in the cinema, golly gee"? Not fucking likely. So that whole paragraph was basically an exercise in futility at which I am still mildly frustrated and the douchebags will continue to keep talking in the cinema. Oh yeah, kids should be fucking banned from the cinema or any public place/event which requires some level of attention and silence. Kids are kids, you know they can't sit still or keep quiet or have our levels of attention and courtesy. I blame you inconsiderate parents.

So since I've run out of things to talk about, I'm just going to post random movie quotes. Thank you IMDB

"Look, other bands, they want to make it about sex or pain, but you know, The Beatles, they had it all figured out, okay? "I Want to Hold Your Hand." The first single. It's effing brilliant, right?... That's what everybody wants, Nicky. They don't want a twenty-four-hour hump sesh, they don't want to be married to you for a hundred years. They just want to hold your hand."

Banky Edwards: Alright, now see this? This is a four-way road, okay? And dead in the center is a crisp, new, hundred dollar bill. Now, at the end of each of these streets are four people, okay? You following?
Holden: Yeah.
Banky Edwards: Good. Over here, we have a male-affectionate, easy to get along with, non-political agenda lesbian. Down here, we have a man-hating, angry as fuck, agenda of rage, bitter dyke. Over here, we got Santa Claus, and up here the Easter Bunny. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first?
Holden: What is this supposed to prove?
Banky Edwards: No, I'm serious. This is a serious exercise. It's like an SAT question. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first? The male-friendly lesbian, the man-hating dyke, Santa Claus, or the Easter bunny?
Holden: The man-hating dyke.
Banky Edwards: Good. Why?
Holden: I don't know.
Banky Edwards: [shouting] Because the other three are figments of your fucking imagination!

Here, if you have a milkshake, and I have a milkshake, and I have a straw. There it is, that's a straw, you see? You watching? And my straw reaches acrooooooss the room, and starts to drink your milkshake....I...drink...your...milkshake!

Voila! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran,cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulant vermin van guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V

I just want to say to you all tonight I'm very grateful to be here. A lot of people told me that I'd never wrestle again and that's all I do. You know, if you live hard and play hard and you burn the candle at both ends, you pay the price for it. You know in this life you can loose everything you love, everything that loves you. Now I don't hear as good as I used to and I forget stuff and I aint as pretty as I used to be but god damn it I'm still standing here and I'm The Ram. As times goes by, as times goes by, they say "he's washed up", "he's finished" , "he's a loser", "he's all through". You know what? The only one that's going to tell me when I'm through doing my thing is you people here. You people here, you people here are the ones who are worth bringing it for, because you're my family. I love all of you. Thank you so much

Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts. He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does He do, I swear for His own amusement, his own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. Ahaha. And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is he doing? He's laughin' His sick, fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass! He's a SADIST! He's an absentee landlord! Worship that? NEVER!

I put no stock in religion. By the word religion I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the will of god. I have seen too much religion in the eyes of too many murderers. Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness. What god desires is here [points to head] and here [points to heart] and what you decide to do every day, you will be a good man - or not.

...and as they both sink beneath the waves, the frog cries out, "Why did you sting me, Mr. Scorpion? For now we both will drown!" Scorpion replies, "I can't help it. It's in my nature!"

Myrmidons! My brothers of the sword! I would rather fight beside you than any army of thousands! Let no man forget how menacing we are, we are lions! Do you know what's waiting beyond that beach? Immortality! Take it! It's yours!

Men are haunted by the vastness of eternity. And so we ask ourselves: will our actions echo across the centuries? Will strangers hear our names long after we are gone, and wonder who we were, how bravely we fought, how fiercely we loved?

Let me tell you what Like a Virgins's about. It's all about a girl who digs a guy with a big dick. The entire song.. its a metaphor for big dicks. Like a Virgin's not about some sensitive girl who meets a nice fella. That's what True Blue's about. Now, granted, no argument about that. Let me tell you what Like a Virgin's about. It's all about this cooze who's a regular fuck machine. I'm talking morning, day, night, after... dick,dick,dick,dick,dick,dick,dick,dick,dick.. Then one day she meets this John Holmes motherfucker. She's getting this serious dick action and she's feelin' something she ain't felt since forever. Pain. Pain. It hurts. It hurts her. It shouldn't hurt her. You know, her pussy should be Bubble Yum by now, but when this cat fucks her, it hurts. It hurts just like it the first time. You see, the pain is reminding a fuck machine what it was once like to be a virgin. Hence... Like a Virgin.

The humans have besmirched everything bestowed on them. They were given Paradise, they threw it away. They were given this planet, they destroyed it. They were favored best among all His endeavors, and some of them don't even believe He exists. And in spite of it all, He's shown them infinite fucking patience at every turn. What about us? I asked you... once to lay down the sword because I felt sorry for them. What was the result? Our expulsion from Paradise. WHERE WAS HIS INFINITE FUCKING PATIENCE THEN? IT'S NOT RIGHT, IT'S NOT FAIR.



yeah it only just occurred to me that this was a very cinema themed post, what with the rant about cinema's a movie quotes.



3 comments:

Su said...

i wanna bet there's a kevin smith quote in there somewhere. and i only recognized 'the wrestler'. one measly quote out of a gazillion titles floating around in the world today. sigh.....i haven't watched a movie in ages and the only movie i do wanna watch now is related to your previous post. it shall not be named in case it induces gagging/rolling of eyes/ignorance/all the typical ju reflexes when you hear of something sappy/nonsensical. i'm really going off tangent aren't i? but no...cos this is a cinematic post. so i wanna watch valentine's day. :)

Su said...

OH EM GEEEE i think the last film i watched at the movies was "the curious case of benjamin button." that was like yonkssss ago.

*cries*

*rolls eyes*

*continues watching downloaded 'an education'*

kthxbai

.i. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.