im still alive

yes.. of that im sure. salutations and greetings of the New Year from the Promised Land that is home. Home.... home is so sad. Things have changed and so have people. Home is no longer Lemon Grass Fields(yes.. i looked it up, thats what medang serai means)but here in the cesspit of capitalism of affluenism of Tropicana. Home can be a palace or home can be a shack but, as i've said, home is where the heart is, and its not here. Its no wonder then that im out of it more than in it. But its only a temporary semi respite before the re-deportation back to the foreign gulag that is Bristol. Oh sure, i know i have it easier than most people and i should be grateful that im actually able to study overseas instead of this corruption infested racially prejudiced country that is home. But how does a demon fit well into heaven anymore than an angel withstand the sight of the unholy? Lets just say then that i am in a state of purgetory.

Home is where the family is. What family? The witch and the usurper? My own flesh and blood they are not. And my one true pillar of strength, my sister, has departed for the Sandwhich Islands a.k.a Hawaii and thus i am left here, in a siege mentallity, fighting with the waves of insincerity and half hearted and misguided anger. I dont know how long my home, my heart can withstand all this, now that my pillar has left.What would i do without you? What can i do without you? And what about Hermes you say? My four legged non judgemental unconditional companion. I'll will be in exile again boy, but wait for me. Just as Argos waited for Odysseus to return to Ithaca, wait for me. I will return for you my loyal companion. Dear old dad is, well.. dear old dad. Love him to bits i do, but, shackled he is by the witch and the usurper. You made your bed dad, and u have to sleep in it, be it filled with linen sheets of a dream that could have been, or the angry barbs of reality of what is the present. Mom, i have not seen you in years. Come back soon.

Friends. Its great to see them all again. Tupps, im so sorry i havent been able to see u yet. That damned toe is still hurting like a bitch since i broke it, but boyo i'll try my bestest to see u before i am forced back into exile. The awesome foursome, at least you have been there and never changing. The only comforts to the coldness that permeates my mind. You as well Tupps my boyo. If this were to be our Thermopylae i would be glad to lay my lives down with all of you.
The greatest resource that i have now arent materials wants and needs but simply all of you. You may be diamonds in the rough to other people but to me you're the most valuabel of all stones.What will i do without you? What can i do without you?

I have to leave all of you behind soon.

As you can see, this is a very personal and, though u cant see it, an emotional post. I dont feel like ranting today. Its too sad to rant.