goodbye

So this might probably be the last post i ever make in Malaysia. As of 6/8/08 i will be leaving this country and going off the United States of America, and God knows how long I'll be there. 2 months maybe. A year maybe. Forever maybe. I don't know and I can't say for now. It's a weird feeling. I don't want to leave yet I know in my heart that this really is a good opportunity for me to move forward in my life and all in all it might turn out to be an unforgettable experience to say the least. But, from the experience I've already had abroad, I know my heart will always be here, that is, home. I know this country is fucked up, what with its racial politics and inherent prejudices if you aren't a Malay. I know they're the majority and thats why its called MALAYsia and not MalayIndianChinesesia and I'm not under and delusions that I'll always be a minority wherever I go, with the exception of China but I know thats not where I'll end up. I may be Chinese but I'm a Malaysian first and foremost. I was born here and i love my country. But I do not love my government. Besides that, I'll obviously miss the friends that I have here. When i say friends i do mean FRIENDS, of which are low in quantity but unbeatable in quality. These are friends for keeps and saying goodbye just makes it harder to leave. There is also the family, which I love very dearly. I know i dont always show it but they are always just a thought away and of course already in my heart. Then there's Hermes, my 4 legged companion. I know everyone here's going to say i dont take care of him enough but yes, i still do love him very much. he's cuddled next to me right now as i type. As you can see, im becoming increasingly incoherrent right now and just simply typing out whatever i feel. Thats because im kinda becoming a little too emotional to string out proper sentences. M, you know it and i know it, we still love each other, but pride and too many other complicated circumstances put us in such a position that it will always remain unrequited. I wished things could have worked out better but we know it didn't

I love all of you and I'll miss all of you