Dr Professor Ricardo Julio Vargas

Being indifferent is hard. Especially since it's not within your character to do so. And I'm quite a character. I wear my heart on my sleeves like it was going out of fashion. That's who I am and no amount of Tony Robbins-esque talk will ever change that. Unless i go through ANOTHER traumatic life changing experience. Even then it would be like "ok, I've been here before, I've dealt with it. Have a cigarette or 20 and you'll be fine." I hope it would be like that anyway.

So yeah, day 12 of an indifferent life. Indifferent towards the opposite sex or more specifically the pursuit of them into having a meaningful relationship. Mixed feelings mostly. On the one hand I feel completely at ease not having to chase after someone, not having to exert any effort in trying to get a certain someone to have feelings for me which they didn't have before. Now I only have to worry about myself and that's a real easy matter to take care of. Simple guy, simple worries(unless it involves the opposite sex and driving) . The current crop of crisis' have stopped for the time being and life is as content as it can get. I mean sure, I wouldn't mind a ps3 or an uber pc which would allow me to play games which I can conquer the world and take my real life frustrations out on my AI controlled denizens by ruling them with an oppressive iron fist that is the Empire of Julmeria. All Hail Emperor Me! Er... yes.. off tangent discourse there. I mean yeah, I would like all those things, but I'm still pretty alright without them

Now, we come to the other grubby little needy hand. I loathe the feeling of being alone. I absolutely hate the feeling that I can't put my hands around someone and hug them close to me just because I want that warmth. I hate it that there isn't someone stroking my hair and telling me everything is all right while I rest on their warm bosom. I just want to hold someone's hand and talk about everything and nothing and still have a great time just being with each other. I just like the feeling of being wanted by someone who I can also make out with and if im really fucking lucky, have the sex with. No, I can't afford the "girlfriend treatment" from prostitutes either. Neither would i want to of course. The fact that I know im paying for that is already a major turn off. I want the above and beyond friendship companionship from a girl, if that could be conceived in our over analytical minds. And not actively looking for that is akin to wanting to eat bread but not going to get it because you don't want to drive and get that particular brand of bread because you know there are better brands out there and/or they're currently sold out of it and you can wait for a while till they get new stock but you're really hungry for bread right now. Yeah, that didn't make sense to me either but im just too lazy to backspace/highlight and then backspace it. And I just made a peanut butter sandwich.

So yeah, I'm doing fine. For now.

This is an sms conversation my dad and me had recently

Me: What time are you going to see Hermes tomorrow?

Dad: 9am. I hope we can take him back tomorrow

Me: I hope so too. He looks so sad in that cage

Dad: I know. That's why I want to bring him back.

Me: Guess we have to see what the doctor says tomorrow. Hopefully we can bring him back.

Dad: Insyah Allah. Opps.

Me: Hahaha. Nice one

For those who don't get it, Re Allah argument in Malaysia. Opps myself. For the MCMC and the ISA my name is Professor Dr Ricardo Julio Vargas and my dad's name is Ernesto Serna Vargas y Guevarra. We are both Argentinians living in Malaysia.

And yeah. Hermes was sick last week. Vomiting blood. He's better now that lovable furball.

Dad: If you want to have sex get a whore. If you want companionship get a dog.
Im inclined to agree with him on that.