CounterStrike Dreams

I had another dream about you last night. It came to me unbidden and left me completely melancholic and rueful the entire day. We were at a mutual friend's place for dinner. Things were civil i suppose. You stuck to your corner of the room, I stuck to mine. Drink were flowing fast and going down heavy. I suppose it was only a matter of time before we had the dreaded confrontation. As inevitable as the iceberg that sunk the Titanic. What sparked it off I guess was your effeminate boyfriend trying to tell me that he dislikes smokers and people who drink. A drink thrown in the face and the familiar old left jab, right cross and right uppercut quickly ended any friendly debate that we were naught to have. You came running and pushed me away, making me spill my drink. I called you a hypocritical bitch and I guess that's when you started trying to claw my eyes out. More mutual friends and acquaintances pulled off while I smirked at you and shrugged as if to say "Well, if you can't handle the truth..". You called me an inconsiderate fucker and that your ex boyfriend is more than half the man I am. "That's rich," I quipped, "considering the fact that he laid his hands on you". Cue more eye scratching attempts and screaming. I put my hands up and made to leave, disgusted by your out of the ordinary but more than capable antics. You called out " you don't even know me! You assume that I can just fall in love with you? Who the fuck do you think you are?". I turned around, fist bunched up, rage surging and I shouted back "IM THE FUCKING BEST YOU EVER GOT BUT WILL NEVER HAVE! Don't fucking take the high road and label me otherwise all because i got you a fucking book out of the kindness of my heart!". At that point the book magically appeared in her hands and she flung it back at me. Now it was her turn to smirk and shrug. And suddenly the world caved in on me. The friends disappeared, the music stopped playing, the floorboards and the walls faded away like some much wind swept sand. Only you and me were left, you smirking, me, broken. "You bitch" I whispered, my voice barely audible. Tears came unbidden. "You still smirked and said "Goodbye" and then you disappeared as well, and the world finally closed in around me and enveloped me like a dark sea.

Thats when I woke up with my breath caught in my throat. And so began this less than spectacular day.

I hate the fact that you can still upset me and assault my senses even if we were never anything other than comfortable acquaintances. Long may I forget you...

No, this post wasn't about Michelle.

See you in the States