re deleted post/ rant #94

So i wrote an allegory here earlier. and decided to delete it. why, you may ask? because it was an affirmation that i was still weak willed about certain issues when i promised myself that I wouldnt be. writing that allegory, while some have said was well written, did not best suit the mood nor the optimum level of mental fortitude I would wish to have at this current time. furthermore, as mentioned earlier, it was a testament to how little I've changed. No, I don't want it published. And there's no point asking me about what it was. If I wanted to tell you it would have been published in the first place anyway

So what now? The midweek review? Bah, nothing is going on. I don't really give a damn about earth hour or how I'm supposedly cutting down my carbon emissions for a whole fucking hour. You want to save the earth? Go fucking live in a communal village in the fucking jungle and dont have any fucking kids. What's the answer to solving the carbon emission problem? Anal sex. Seriously, having kids increases your carbon emissions more than driving a humvee to work everyday. Stop trying to be a douchebag earth warrior and call the rest of us assholes for not doing enough for the planet. Let them who is without douchbagness cast the first fucking earth friendly stone. Hippie assholes. Go ahead and drive your eco friendly Prius and try to break already.

Furthermore, fuck you firefox. Smoother and more secure internet surfing my ass hairs. This is the third time trying to write this rant. What the fuck are you doing with those error reports anyway? Building an effigy of the consumers that you so lovingly fuck over so you can burn them in a symbolic gesture? Printing them out and then making them into paper balls for the office inter-departmental wastepaperbasketball tournament? Giving them to office weirdo Jim so he can jack off on customer complaints? Giving them to Mitchell Baker's kids so they can build paper forts and play Gondor vs Mordor in Conference Room B? I'm probably right on one of those counts so fuck you all the same

The only thing I'm not angry at is Lost. No no, dear Lost, I can never get angry at you. I'll love you, love child of J.J Abrams, no matter how confusing or draggy or nonsensical your storyline gets. I'm also not angry at Tom Hanks. I love you Mr Hanks because you were The Money Pit, Big, Philadelphia, Forrest Gump, Sleepless in Seattle, Joe vs the Volcano, Apollo 13 That thing you Do, Saving Private Ryan, You've got mail, The Green Mile, Castaway, Catch me if you can, The Terminal, Charlie Wilson's war, your honey ambrosia like voice in both Toy Stories, your producer roles in Band of Brothers and the Pacific. Yeah, I know you've made tons more, but I like you best in these movies and off screen roles. No, I hated the Davinci code because I hate Dan Brown. Though surprisingly I thought of you when I read the book out of sheer curiosity of the hype. If I could Ricky Martin it I did have mad man love for you. But since im not Ricky Martin-ing it, I appreciate your works sir.


I'm also somehow not angry at Jim Carey, despite watching the Majestic and The number 23.

Read Kickass and then watch the movie. I command it.