2009 #1

as you, my intellectually gifted and observant readers, can tell, its the first entry(read rant) of the year 2009 Anni Domini. First order of the agenda(read random rant) is the fact that no, I have not changed my outlook on life, i.e. i think its still a fucking shit hole and i question my parent's motives in consummating their marriage for the second time and thus "creating" me. I think its part of the karmic punishment for being a cruel bastard in my past life but that's just my opinion anyway. The rationale behind such cynical and not too optimistic beliefs and outlooks is the fact that, even after pursuing a professional degree i still find myself jobless which ergo shows me what the world really thinks I'm worth, that is, in short, jack shit. and that, since 12:00 am January 1st 2009 its been 4 fucking years since I've been in a relationship, let alone had sex. Yes I still believe it is the be all and end all of my life and fuck you for saying its not because you get it on a regular basis or lead a very non exciting(read non sexual active) life(which you're quite content with *coughfaggotcough*). So yes, since 2005 circa being dumped because I'm, of all things, not a girl, i still maintain that the world is a shitty place. and while we're on this round of giving out fuck yous, i did like to give an especially angsty and venomous one to the fuckers who fucked up the world economy. FUCK YOU.

in other news here on ju-rants news network (JRNN for you acronym lovers) I dint understand why everyone is protesting Israel bombing the shit out of Gaza. Don't get me wrong, I, like every sheep, i mean everyone else, am into that whole UN we're citizens of the world love peace and harmony nonsensical and idealistic crap and of course I think Israel should be slapped on their little bumbum and told not to bomb the crap out of Gaza(again) but what I do not buy into is this demonstration/protest crap. If the fucking UN cant get Israel to stop dropping the bombs do you think the Zionist will give a crap and listen to some common street protester shouting catchy mob chants and carrying glittered up banners saying how much you love Palestine and waving Palestinian flags and fucking blocking up the streets? Lets face reality, they don't give a fuck. Where were all these protests and all this outpouring of empathy when the Palestinians were launching Quassam rockets into Israel? Where was all this brotherly love when your own citizens were being persecuted and jailed just for telling the truth and demanding justice? Where is all this furious and righteous anger when Africans are dying and facing genocide and starvation? Where was all this sympathy when 2000 innocent Americans died in a terrorist attack? Where were your flags and your banners when the suicide bombers killed dozens of Israelis commuting to their workplace in a bus? I don't fucking claim to be anti Islamic, Semitic, Christian or otherwise, I agree, what Israel is doing now is wrong, but I don't happen to protest "selective" and "hot topic" issues and events just because its on the news and the Shepards herd their sheep and tell them its right to do so either.

moving on to interpersonal relationships, Ms CS is, enigmatic to say the least. Oh how you do attract me with your perceived innocence and purity yet how you repel me at the same time with the unsaid loathing and avoidance like the plague. I'm tired of paying for my past sins. why cant you just see that i have nothing but best intentions and sincere feelings for you, or have the shrouds of my past sins blinded you so much from the truth of the situation like all my other failed attempts at human connection? If hell is what awaits me, then i truly have no fear of whats to come. Just, for once, take my hand, trust me, and stay.

Hell, that imaginary paradox of that other imaginary place called heaven. It reminds me of a quote, with which i will leave you with on this the 2nd day of the year 2009, on a most sombre and once again angsty note. but then again, you already knew all that when you visited this blog didn't you?

Faustus: Where are you damned?

Mephastophilis: In Hell

F:How comes it then that thou art out of hell?

M:Why, this is hell, nor am I out of it. Think'st thou that I, who saw the face of God, and tasted the eternal joys of heaven, am not tormented with ten thousand hells in being deprived of everlasting bliss? O Faustus, leave these frivolous demands, which strike a terror to my fainting soul.

Scene 3, Dr Faustus by Christopher Marlowe.

Love English Lit. Hate life. For now. Speaking monotonously. Like Neanderthal. Hurrrrr. Heh.
*Writer has become temporarily insane from lack of sleep, or pussy, or both.