2009 #2

writing this fast so please dont mind the spelling and grammar errors.

life has been good but it could get better. im officially part of the work force, things are better with father and progress with CS has be going well or so i hope it is. i still get the feeling that she isint comfortable with me but that could be just a general thing because every girl i've ever gone for has turned out lesbian or hating me , whichever comes first, so you will forgive me for my premature assumption and misread intentions as this is shaky territory for me and i feel like the lone unassuming swimmer and love is the shark. Also, i wish to move out of the friend zone of which i have deeply entrenched myself in since the book incident. this is not helped by the fact that the realities of the working world allow one no social life and whatever sparse time she is free, she has other people and events and to entertain. which again pricks up my inate sense of low self esteem and paranoia. all seems now well however, so yes, i am content. i.e. i could feel happier but im alright the way i am now.

later.