Wednesday, February 13, 2008

right back at you

so i guess its safe to say that not a lot of people are reading this here blog. this, then, is an excellent opportunity to be able to let off some pent up frustration towards a few individuals and to life in general. yes, i bitch. hence the need for there to be this fucking blog. at least i dont live in fucking denial and pretend that everything is alright when its fucking obvious its not. no, im not mentally as strong as you to be able to soldier on and keep everything in. i just... need to get a few things off my chest.

to YL, i know its not really fair of me to impose on you but your reaction was totally uncalled for. its just a goddamned book and not a fucking wedding ring or my right ear.Please.. i may be love sick but im not fucking blind to the fact that you and your current beau arent going to be breaking up anytime soon and even if that were the case, that small miniscule chance that your realize what an ass he is and you finally wake up and dump him, what makes me think im the fucking one for you? please, i learned to give up hopes and dreams a long time ago. we're just friends yeah? so why should a book make you all hot and bothered? its nothing but a book. no fucking intentions whatsoever. so.... yeah... fucking meet up with me for lunch already.

to M, goddamned... 8 years of... connecting for want of a better word... and you keep pulling the same shit over and over again. and i dont fucking get where the fucking devotion keeps coming from? i mean, is she that great? she fucking dosent understand you, that goes without saying. but i guess if i scratch under the surface, im just fucking bitter that you can put so much fucking effort into trying to make that relationship work while i was just a fucking... i dont know what i was or am to you honestly. why couldnt you at least put half of the effor you're putting in now on ours? i just feel fucking short changed you know, after all the shit i have done for you. yeah, we're friends... i understad you, you can talk to me, well and good... we have an understanding beyond words. but sometimes, just sometimes, i just feel so.. , i dont know. i already said it.. short changed.. and i dont understand. and dont think i ever shall. our currentl platonic relationship is a rubics cube i cant solve. but then again, i dont think i've ever given up trying to solve a rubics cube. note. i havent finished the one i bought last week.

to G, fuck, this is what i really wanted to say to you all those times. you're just a really ugly person underneath that beautiful shell of yours. you dont have a spine of your own and i would have really appreciated it if you just fucking told me what was wrong or at least even a fucking "look, i dont like you, fuck off" would have been acceptable. the fact that you fucking just turned away without even saying a word to me while everyone else heard your fucking lies just really fucking hurts. get off your pedestal, grow a backbone for once in your life, and fucking tell me straight to my face what the fuck is your damage is with me instead of the fucking backstabbing and silent treatment you cowardly spineless weakling.

to VP, god, you were just so fucking possesive is it any wonder that we fucking broke up?who the fuck were you to demand that i stop spending time with my dad so i could talk to you. your fucking threatend me with break ups and all that fucking immature nonsense and for what? just to talk to someone you've never even seen before? stop saying i was the bastard and look in the fucking mirror bitch.

yes... most of this rant was directed to most of the women who were part of my life. just thought i did give my side of the fucking slanted stories for once and tell all of them... "right back at you." yes i know, the best answer here would be to fucking forget these people and move on with life right? well, this is kind of moving on therapy. you know, like writing what you did say to someone in a letter but never sending it? so some over priced shrink can tell you that you had a troubled childhood and that you're odepius reborn. anyway.. yeah.. this is my way of feeling better and getting rid of pent up frustration angst and anger. and i didnt have to spend 50,000 to do it.

you must have realized that my blog posts are all purely esoteric, non picture, non video, and completely fucking rubbish. and thats the way i fucking like it.

sorry grace, guess i cant stop swearing like a sailor. or angst ridden bastard. or both. angst ridden sailors...

comment wise... i did be happy to enteratain all questions and answer all criticisms and defend to the fullest all my notions of justice and righteousness and dolphins. i do not entertain penis enlargement ads though

as always, mind the spelling typos and abuse of grammar. thank you