Sunday, July 25, 2010

Intraweb Blues

Internet. It's the greatest thing since individually wrapped slices of cheese. It seems also that it's the greatest social ill facing Malaysian youths today, if you would believe the headlines. From sex to games, blame the internet. Kid skipping class for DoTa? Internet. Teen getting horny because he's never seen pussy before? Internet. Youth resorting to violence because the game he plays has graphic violence? Internet. You know what grinds my gears though? The apparent helplessness that parents seem to feel regarding their child's "addiction". YOU ARE THE PARENT. Take charge. Take some fucking responsibility. Beat your kid. Do not buy into the bullshit that Oprah shuffles onto your plate that you can't discipline your kid. Think. Why didn't the youth of yesteryear have this problem? Saying that there was no internet is total bullshit. There will and always be some form of distraction and "social ill" regardless of the times. It's because parents then had the grapefruits to take control of the situation. Kids these days have it too fucking easy. This fucking Western concept of "freedom" and rebellion and all that melodramatic hormone induce teenage bullshit is just an excuse to fuck up. Until you're 18, your ass belongs to your parents. Don't like it? Move the fuck out and be a man. What? Can't pay the rent on your "loft" appartment? Get a job. Can't get a job because you have no education? Get into crime. Got arrested and now sharing bunkbeds, among other things, with a rather large man named Trudy in prison? Yeah, have fun with your "freedom".

Look, everyone likes to visit the cyber cafe once in a while. Hell, i rather be playing a game than getting intoxicated on alcohol or drugs or getting the clap from some 50rm hooker and/or slut. But to say that it's the main cause of all this social evils is just being myopic. Parent's; you need to get your shit together and take charge of your charge. Kids; get your fucking priorities straight. It's just a fucking game.

Saturday, July 17, 2010


not the size of one of my more important appendages, but the length of each paragraph

You don't find love. You settle, and then delude yourself into thinking otherwise.

In the movies it's always the good guys who get the girl. In real life, it's mostly the prick. And the girl's probably a real bitch, but your raging hormones would tell you otherwise

Sometimes you feel like you're an extra in the movie adaptation of the sequel to your life.

Anyone can write. It's just that the famous ones look better in real life.

You say personality, I say peer pressure that dictates acceptable social interaction. And/or consumption of alcohol

I don't write futurist percussive poetry. Yes its a real form of poetry. Thank you intraweb and Michael Cera for bringing that to our attention.

I wonder if there's Indie Hindi music.

Im not into indie music. More of the we were indie but now that people actually think we play good music therefore we are mainstream kinda music. Ok fine, Pavement's still indie. But then again so is everything else that has a "cult following".

Defenestrate. Such a calm sounding word juxtaposed to what it actually means.

Degree= unless you're actually employed in a job related to it, is as useful as a vhs tape in this day and age.

Im not actually smart or well read. I just speak really well at times. When I don't mumble.

Blind loyalty to Lord Kevin Smith could not mask the fact that Cop Out wasnt really that good. But his Lordship is redeemed by the fact that he didn't write the script.

My go to line when Chinese taxi drivers start preaching about the purity of race and language; Im a scientologist.

Ada kalanya, orang kata, "Ju-lian, kamu ni gemuk sial. Pergi la bersenaman. Jadi kurus sikit." Tetapi, pada masa yang sama, "Oi gemuk, mesti habiskan semua makanan ok? Jangan membazir makanan. Oh...kamu kenyang? Tak apalah..makan saja. Jangan membazir makanan" Bongok macam babi haram saja..

"It's not you, it's me. It's not your fault I find you horrendously boring and ugly to boot."

Progressively boring shorts = end of blog entry # 149.