Monday, November 29, 2010

Because reality doesnt apply to powdered chocolate drinks

I refer you to Oligo's advertisement on local Malaysian television. For foreign readers, I extend my sincere apologies as I've tried to look for the ad on youtube but it was unfortunately unavailable. It is my belief that it is THAT bad and hence not worthy of youtube notoriety.

In said advertisement for powdered chocolate drink mix, various situations are shown where one party has committed an act which has another party aggrieved. These situations range from what I suspect is a cheating partner, mischievous children and and their mischievous acts which have resulted in broken pottery and incompetent employee submitting substandard work to a visibly angry boss. Once the montage of various acts of human conflict has passed, the scene then abruptly shows said guilty parties doing the 'Oligo' dance. The dance consists of making hand masks over your eyes by making Os with your index finger and your thumb touching each other. Said dance has the effect of making aggrieved party smile and, through suggestion, one is led to believe that all is forgiven.

Absurd I know. Most absurd being the acerbic boss, what with his table thumping and vitriolic hand gestures at said workers now suddenly letting off the hook and smiling presumably for his love of hand masks and chocolate powder drink mix. The one with the cheating spouse sends the wrong message to people who have commitment issues and don't believe in monogamy That chocolate powder drinks gives you a free pass to fuck around. The kids, I just leave it to either 'special children' or gullible parents. Or a mix of both.

I know that absurdity is a hallmark of the advertising world, but there has to be a limit. And Oligo has surpassed that limit. Milo's better anyway. Even if it leads you to believe that you'll be an athlete of Herculean levels by drink "vitamin enriched malt chocolates"

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I dont like doing titles. It reminds me too much of my job

yeah. i know. its been almost 3 months. luckily i'm not financially or socially obligated to write for friends and family and people accidentally coming here because they probably typed fuck and asian on google and wound up here, thinking that hey, free porn. its ok habibie. happens to the best of us.

job = serving at the pleasure of others for something wages. According to latest studies, I'm bordering on near poverty levels with regards to my pay. But hey, all part of our great leaders plan for high income economy through this transformation and that transformation right? Between you and me, I think he has a fixation on megan fox and specifically her role in movie with said transformers, sentient robots who could transform. Then again im only on probation so with confirmation it pushes me up to not really within poverty levels but still not able to buy anything on down payment schemes level. Yeah, its better than doing nothing, but its in the international workers' manifesto that employees be allowed a minimum of 2 to 3 hours of bitching about work per day. read it. its in your union papers.

evolution = innocent girl- culture shock girl- wild girl- experimentation girl- hipster girl- work girl- wife- divorcee- cougar- repeat starting from hispter girl stage

disappointment = comics as ordered on time- comics late- comics missing- comics irrevocably gone- sorrow at lost of limited edition green lantern special event lacking just ONE fucking issue more

rediscovery=falling in love again with fantasy novels, specifically robert jordan's wheel of time. why didnt any of you tell me it was so fucking good? you did? well why didnt you just buy me the first book to get me started since you know i'll read any book i get for a present (BIG HINT)? now i have to start from book 1 of 13. and you know Malaysia, not exactly a Mecca for avid readers.

music = whatever rocks your boat. 25 most played songs range from Daft Punk to DJ Starscream( Sid Wilson from Slipknot), Sparks the rescue to Thao with the get down stay downs.
Except kesha and Far East Movement. What the bloody hell is a G6? and how to people pretend to get drunk? oh wait, you can. if you want to get out of a party where one of your ex's evil exs is there. or it could be your ex his/herself. speaking of which..

surprised= Scott Pilgrim vs The World. really. believe the hype. Unless you know, you're into goth and religious programming. anywhere between that you're fine. yes i know its michael cera, the canadian thin version of seth rogan who is in turn the taller thinner jonah hill. yes, i know they've all worked together before. Yay Metric.

expected = fund raiser girl for the spastic home asking if im Malaysian and upon affirmation says " wow, your english is sooooo good!". Uh huh.. if i had Rm 1 for everytime i heard that... also.. drinking copious amounts of orange juice will give you bad acid reflux.

feel like punching = work if it was in corporeal form. a certain unwanted acquaintance which would have had their badly filled teeth knocked out from them a long ago if she wasn't a woman. bitch. Yes I know I don't have a girlfriend. no need to constantly remind me of the fact. you see, unlike yourself with a free and easy job and magic charms, work actually inhibits me from seeking unpaid(sorta) companionship. And, frankly, its none of your fucking business.

Ironically, it is said work which is necessary through earning of wages to support a working relationship with one of the fairer sex. Don't kid yourself ladies. A certain amount of money is needed for a stable relationship. It does not mean RM 3000 bags or Rm 300 blouses. It means that I can support you in a long term relationship which may or may not include a spawn of our own, and various other household and assorted agreements for services and amenities. Plus I like a fancy dinner once in a while which may or may not in all likelihood of end with post meal coitus. Because Im in lesbian with you(its a Scott Pilgrim joke)

horrible realization = im 25, the cut off point for acting like an immature man-child. Adults suck, and then you become one. I was told as a young man not past the age of 13 that as an adult one could go into arcades and have sex with yucky girls who will start becoming appealing once the big 1-8 hit. Well, arcades have now been replaced with cyber cafes, of which their novelties have worn off, and im not getting laid as often as i should have with the now attractive and very much appealing ladies. So.. yeah.. *lights a cigarette and shares an awkward silence with imaginary person behind the laptop screen.

and im down to my last cigarette. see you then in a couple of months