Results of Unemployment #3

Being the sort who's unemployed( but not from lack of trying, much) allows one to read a large number of books and movies/shows. Said activities do not in fact bring much in terms of self improvement by learning new skills unless it's a survival/field guide by Bear Grylls (and comes packaged with flash frozen elephant poo and DVD entitled "Wolf shit and other delectable survivor food). Sadly the only pseudo useful book that I have read is Max Brook's Zombie Survival Guide for, you know, defending against the zombie threat. Yeah, you're all laughing now, but we'll see who's laughing when your zombie girlfriend takes oral sex to a whole other painful and decidedly deadly level. But seriously, for a humour book it's pretty well written. So well written that your suspension of disbelief will have you subconsciously going "Head shot kills zombies" and then go "boom, head shot" with your imaginary pistol when you see your nemesis on the street. Do people still use that word anymore in a non fantasy/sci fi context? I know enemy is a fine word, but nemesis just gives it so much more epicness. And I hate the fact that douchbaggy people have annexed the word epic as an adverb/adjective to their douchbaggery. Bastards. I hate you worse than a Scottish man who missed his flight because of Eyjafjallajökull's volcanic ash hates Iceland. Heh...Eyjafjallajökull. It's as fun to write as it is to pronounce.

Going with the theme of the week, God bless American tv. I mean no offense to Spana Jaya or Akademi Fantasia, but we're literally starving for good tv over here. If you look at local tv schedules 60%-75% of the programming's American and/or British. And then you have your Hong Kong drama's which are, surprise surprise, from Hong Kong. Let's just say, since the death of P Ramlee, we havent had anything worth watching on tv that isn't the news and even that's, well, you know. coughpropogandacough. And you're surprised at why Astro is so successful and therefore a monopolizing force in an industry that has no competition to speak off? With the advent of P2P file sharing and the freedom of internet usage(take that China) we(those who are tech savvy enough anyway) are able to indulge in our inner Americana. Currently watching;

Lost *last season. I bet we still won't get it ;

Cougar Town *yes, the name is implies exactly what you think it means, a town infested with mutant mountain cougars who want to take over the state of North Dakota

The Pacific * Band of Brothers in the Pacific. Replace snowy woods and European towns and Germans with islands, rain and Japs. And no, you still won't know who's who once they put their helmets on

Breaking Bad *Meth, meth and more meth. Also some cancer. Set in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Mexicans welcomed, unlike Arizona

Big Bang Theory * sometimes at night, I think Im Sheldon Cooper and say Bazinga repeatedly while wearing my Green Lantern t shirt

You Have been Watching * Charlie Brooker. Enough said

Animated series (it's not CARTOONS) Ugly Americans, The Simpsons, The Boondocks and Seth Macfarlane's evil triumvirate.

Deadliest Warrior. *it is literally the silliest thing on tv now, besides manswers and wipeout. But like all silly shows it has it appeal set in its silliness. Besides, its fun to see machismo at it's best when combined with ballistic gel, blood pack stuffed dummies, and various pig and beef carcasses all for the benefit of seeing who is the most badass. Kinda like high school really.

The Ultimate Fighter * in its 11th season. If you don't know what it is by now you're of the same intellectual and awareness levels as some of our local politicians. Or you just don't like violence. Now run along and go play with your Lil Buddy's First Kitchen Set from Fisher Price. Gordon Ramsay approved.

Spartacus is everything it's hyped to be. Blood, sand and boobs and delectable dialogue such as "Once again the Gods have seen fit to spread cheeks and insert cock", "Jupiter's cock!" and the brilliant back and forth "I'll fuck your corpse" "With what cock?". Rest assured they're not talking about male chickens.

In addition, am eagerly awaiting the season premiers of Californication, Entourage, Futurama, and Sons of Anarchy. I might be missing something here but meh, I'll find out sooner or later.

And, seeing as I have so much free time on hand, I've counted 20 dead singers/band members/artists in my itunes.

Yeap, that's what my life is like now, books, movies and waiting for replies from the 9 or so companies which have my resume but are no doubt playing office basketball with it. Am willing to do odd jobs ranging from security guard/non costumed vigilante to guy who tells you that you look good in EVERYTHING you wear even if it's painfully obvious you look like dried vomit mixed with a little bit of medical waste. Am also sarcastic and cynical enough to fill in for Simon Cowell esque judging duties.