Americana #6

Ipad. Seen it, fondled it, used the free apps and made that mexican man wait for the longest time for me to be done with my free demo unit. There are other demo units as well Jose..

Briefly stepped into Hooters for potential gift buying, only to find that it had the same effect on me as it did 2 years ago wherein my field of vision tends to go about 30-45 degrees lower and my words tend to come out garbled when the staff there interact with me. I can't for the life of me imagine why...

Had a white lady and her little chihuahua come up to me while I was smoking outside the house and say "It's good of you smoke outside the house". I could not tell if she was being sarcastic or not. Her little dog smelled my Malaysian feet and wagged her non existent tail. I guess we know where residual sambal goes...

"How ya doing" is the American equivalent of the English "You'realright?"(Its not a typo. Thats how you pronounce it, as one word). No reply is expected or acceptable other than "Good" or "How ya doing" back. They do not want to hear your life story when you reply "I'm not good because.....".

Was mistaken for a Vietnamese outside Vietnamese restaurant. Be amazed at my non American accented but nonetheless fluent English....

Comparative to most Caucasian males over age 30, I look like a fitness instructor. Against contemporary youths and other Asians, not so much. Cover story, if ever asked, is that I'm an ex sumo champion from Malaysia that had to retire due to injury *cue fake limping. Marvel at my little than above average height and build little Asians of pure Asian and not mixed blood heritage...

Reluctantly hung out with mom listening to popular American music played by live band at a mall outdoors in somewhat cold weather while watching baseball game through Iphone. Saw old lady reenact her Woodstock flower power glory days moves. Funky.... Saw a somewhat slow to react boy in glasses attempting to dance to said music but only managed to shake toy in hand in what I must imagine he must be imagining is a tambourine. Eavesdropped and found out he was special. Not judgmental...

Have been semi forced to watch dancing with the stars. It bores me. I hope Kate Goslin goes out next. Go back to being an octo mom...

Should be reviewer for American tv shows with Malaysian perspective. However, would be encouraging more pirated downloads of said tv shows since censorship board in Malaysia has ass that's tighter than a seahorse's. Will consider further...

Mom pronounces Penelope as the way one would pronounce antelope. Please laugh after saying that out loud or in your head...

Writing in both first and third person. Don't know why...

No links, no pictures,no songs. End...

Post script; interestingly " ... " denotes that the speaker has let his voice trail off, as though he were leaving something unsaid. or a long pause. or an interruption. and no, "..." = not a face.