Monday, April 04, 2016

Lima Peringkat

Apologies for the last post's outburst. As you could obviously tell, was not in the best of mental states.  Am glad to report that I am somewhat better and I've reached the acceptance stage of grief faster than I thought I would. The depression stage did a real fucking number though.

Here's what I've accepted:

  • M1 was a shitty friend all along and that's a fact. We have met, loved and lost and it's time to move on in life because there is nothing else left between us.
  • M2 was my good time girl for which her affections, most probably false, were taken as something, most likely infatuation, to fill the empty void in me because of the intense loneliness I feel from the lack of a romantic companion. We both live different lives and should be free to find our own happiness. Thanks for the memories but one should know when to face reality and cut ones losses. 
  • I'm severely disappointed with myself for allowing myself to be blinded emotionally and disregarding any shred of common sense and rationality. Will strive to do better in future and maintain more calm and serenity in trying to avoid the pitfalls in life while pursuing happiness. 

If any of you have had to deal with depression, and I believe many of you have, you would know that the above is really pretty much an exercise in common sense and being rational and realistic about the facts of life. You would also know however that emotions have a tendency of presenting life in very rose tinted glasses.

Its been a struggle, of that I can assure you. From the waking nightmares to the lack of appetite and sleep. But talking about it, to anyone, really does help. It really isn't a cliche the Befrienders or some other mental health organization spout to be relevant. So if you know someone who's going through depression, the best you can do is lend an ear. We'll come around eventually, and you'll never know how valuable you've been to us as a pillar to lean on the emotional tempest that we go through.

I don't have to name names here but to the people who've helped me along the way, I love and thank you for everything. You've given me the will to live again and find happiness.

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