Results of Unemployment

so here's the nitty gritty of it. I've resigned from Project Malaysia effective from the 25th of February 2010. It is liberating on the one hand while on the other, I feel, like all my other past relationships, I could have gotten so much more out of it if the other side had just put in more effort into making it work. Unlike my past relationships however, it is not an acrimonious split and I thank my employer for at the very least giving me a pseudo job that allowed me to say to other people "I have a job and I'm not living off daddy and mummy". No great feat by any measure of course, but in this life, you take what you can get. Sure, it's not as glamorous as say, a lawyer or a doctor or even an accountant or one of those corporate exec. jobs, but I never went hungry nor was I ever found wanting except during the last few months due to the lack of job satisfaction. I don't know what's next. Contemplating the future is scary. But so is the inevitable realization that one day the money will run out and you cant even afford to eat plain rice with just a dash of soy sauce. I will find something or other soon. But for now, me and employment need our own space.

So now that I'm just another unemployed 25 year old graduate with a degree, I do in fact have more time to blog. Not that I'm about to give Kenny Sia or Tucker Maxx a run for their money of course. Their pedestal in the blogsphere shall remain untouched and under no threat from someone who sometimes spells plain "plaine" if not for spellchecker. Fuck, I don't even post pictures of remotely hot and socially accessible through invites to club events girls and/or videos unless its from youtube. In hindsight, I wouldn't want to either. I like my private life to remain private unless I wish for you to intrude upon it like a rape fantasy. So no big J in a red ball in front of Bangsar Village to show that I approve and endorse eating at said premise for me then. "So why complain about it in the first place?" I can imagine you saying. Because Im vocally neurotic and an unashamed approval whore. That's all I have to offer you, my sort of wit and my neuroticism. Lets face it, I, like the rest of you, mostly, lead a very dull and unexciting life and I'm hardly a contender for Cleo's most eligible bachelor or even it's make belief spin off reality show Pity Dating. I make up for that by saying socially unconventional things and trying to fight awkwardness with perverseness. In a sense, I out awkward you by being disturbing. Yes, I'm like that. I hate losing. Colloquially called kiasu in Malaysia/Singapore or even insistent in some more English influenced areas. Most if not all of you will blame it on me being a Virgo but I'm here to tell you that my horoscope has nothing to do with my character. Pseudo science hardly impresses me and mere correlation and happenstance does not lend credibility and certainty when trying to ascertain someone's character in regards to when they were born. In a word, utter crap fuck bullshit. So sit back and relax as my wordpenis enters your warm wet consciousnessvagina and let yourself non-cum to a relentless barrage of inane nonsensical rantfucking while you question yourself why you ever visited here in the first place.

I don't know if I already mentioned(and if you've heard me rant about this, skip to the next paragraph) this but most girls I know are like cooking shows. Hey look, its awesome looking medium rare filet mignon that just came off the grill and served with a side of mash potatoes and a garden salad with a tangy vinaigrette. If it was a girl it would look like Megan Fox just coming out of the swimming pool with a bikini so skimpy that there's a little bit of under boob and areola showing. And that analogy nicely moves the point that once we get all gastronomically hard for the food, the chef then looks up and says, coyly, "That's all for today, join us next week" before digging in him/herself and the screen fades to black and the credits roll. We are therefore left gastronomically unsatisfied and make do with a cheap hooker sandwich or at the very worst go to bed hungry and dry eating our pillow. For those with an IQ lower than the ringworm in your intestines, I'm talking about how girls love to posture and tease but don't have an endgame involving the bed and a cum filled condom or face. Less on the less sexual point, boring as that may sound, stop teasing if you aren't going to bring it. Stop showing a little midriff and layaning our aroused minds and then saying, literally and figuratively, "You ain't going to get some of this". Stop it. Hooker sandwiches and appointments with Ms Palm are getting very boring.

Shit, now I feel horny and hungry. *Cue montage of images consisting of a female silhouette eating a banana, taco filling being licked, a hot dog being laid on a hot dog bun, a mcdonald's cone being licked a little too sensually, a champagne bottle being popped open, Nigella Lawson licking chocolate sauce that "accidentally" got on her middle finger, a banana split ice cream with two mounds of ice cream topped with cherries, a burrito being eaten by a woman who just put on fresh lipstick.. etc etc.

Ok.. so this blog got sexual really fast after the wordpenis metaphor

I hate 500 days of summer. I hate it because it so realistic. If I wanted to see a movie about lost and unrequited and frankly fucked up love I would have gone all Truman Show/ EdTv on myself. I wanted to be entertained by the notion that at least in movie land a fella can hope and dream a little for at least 1 1/2 hour before drudging back to his own monotonous and unfulfilled life. I though that's what movies were for. Instead we get an Indie grade production about a woman who tells the protagonist that she does not want a boyfriend but then ends up getting married to someone else while having the fucking gall to invite him to the engagement party and the wedding while our poor sod still harbors some unrequited love for her. Sounds too fucking familiar for me. I hate how she plays him, how she tells him she does not want a relationship while at the same time willing to rent porno to watch with the sod before telling him that they could totally do what the professionals are doing. I hate how she breaks up with him after watching the Graduate. I hate how she can let him get close to her again at the co workers wedding and then invite him to a party which is actually her engagement party I hate how she invades his personal spot in the park even after taking his heart crushing it into a thousand pieces. I HATE HER! Oh yeah.. Spoiler alert.

Alright, so my porn entitled sasha grey fucked dirty has already finished loading and I think I'll close with a quote;

"If Tom had learned anything... it was that you can't ascribe great cosmic significance to a simple earthly event. Coincidence. That's all anything ever is. Nothing more than coincidence. "

No, I have no filter. It got taken away from me by alien lesbians.